2018 E3 Predictions

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-Nintendo will announce a Labo that you build to make into a set of goggles for your Switch and when you activate it the screen turns red. You realize they were playing the long game to bring back the Virtual Boy.



-We get a gameplay demo of The Last of Us 2. It won’t involve Ellie and will make people be assholes when they should just shut the fuck up because Ellie is going to be the main focus of the game. Also we get a release month that will be delayed. I will say March delayed to May.

-Gears of War 5 will be shown. It will be a Fallout 4 announcement with the game releasing sooner than everyone thinks. I will say late September. Batista will come out and Batista Bomb Phil Spencer and announce the Gears of War movie.



-Sony’s one more thing at the end of their show will be a trailer announcing that Syphon Filter is coming. To remind everyone about the game Shuhei Yoshida will tase a random person in the audience.

-Halo 6 trailer will be shown with a 2019 release. Halo: MCC will be put in Xbox Game Pass and will still have problems despite patches.

-Ubisoft will show off The Division 2. It will look amazing and not look near as good when it releases. 

-Rocksteady will not show off their game that is totally not Superman even though it is Superman. 



-Bethesda will finally show off Starfield. It is actually a large open world game based on the comic Saga. I will dance naked in the streets as celebration. 

-EA will bring back Fight Night. All fighters will be in lootboxes and you must unlock them by random chance when you fight with your created character who must be upgraded by lootboxes that unlock when you find the ultimate lootbox hidden in a random lootbox. 



-Every conference will start by having a disclaimer that they know full well when Red Dead Redemption 2 releases and all game releases will be avoiding it like every movie avoids a Marvel release.

-Nintendo will finally take flak for Super Smash Bros with people asking why is it fun to beat up women and cute characters and I will only say why would you NOT want to punch Kirby in the face?

-A trailer for the Avengers game will be shown. It will be Avengers in name only and have four playable versions of Squirrel Girl. 

-A new trailer for Final Fantasy VII Remake will be shown. Release date will be the March after we send people to Mars.

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