Showing posts from July, 2017

War for the Planet of the Apes Short Review

The new trilogy of Planet of the Apes movies are not exactly happy tales. Beginning with Rise in 2011 showing us how Caesar was created and the beginning of the simian flu which slowly begins to kill off humans. Plus, it is just rough to watch John Lithgow's character lose his faculties if you have ever had a relative go through he same thing. Then to Dawn in 2014 where Matt Reeves took over as director from Rupert Wyatt and began to flesh out the life and mythos of Caesar as the leader of the apes while trying to garner peace with humans and betrayal by Koba, leading to an army descending upon them to wipe them out.

Now with War for the Planet of the Apes we have moved a few years past with Caesar doing his best to keep his apes together and stay hidden from an army of humans that see their species in its last gasps of existence. It is bleak on both fronts with few good moments, but such is the apocalypse. It shouldn't be fun. It shouldn't be cheery. It should be despera…

Jupiter Ascending Review (From Someone That Didn't See Jupiter Ascending)

When Earth is threatened with total destruction only Jackie from That 70’s Show can save us.
Jupiter Ascending is from The Wachowskis, who you can only assume have the ability of mind control for convincing Warner to give them $175 million dollars on the idea of Channing Tatum as a space elf and Mila Kunis as queen of the universe.

Jupiter is a waitress in a diner when Boromir comes along and tells her she is queen of the universe. Sean Bean dies after one sentence because it is in his contract to die in everything and why waste the time developing his character? She thinks he is a psycho until Magic Mike XXELF shows up with a laser gun and huge package then she believes everything must be true.

The baddie, played by Eddie Redmayne, who took a break from acting like a cyborg genius, wants to kill Jupiter and the easiest way to do this is to destroy Earth. He has a secondary motive also. He has plans for a galactic superhighway and Earth is in the way. Don’t think about space as a three…