Posts

Showing posts from April, 2018

You've Got Some Stones On You: Avengers: Infinity War Review

Image
Well...here we are. 10 years after Iron Man kicked of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and 6 years after Thanos turned his head after the end credits of The Avengers, Infinity War has come. There is probably no movie that has more pressure on it to deliver after such a long buildup. Not even The Force Awakens. All that had to do was be better than the prequels. Does Infinity War make good on a decade of waiting and feeding the Marvel machine money?

Yes. Mostly.

As we all know Earth's Mightiest Heroes are split apart after Tony and Cap had their billion dollar domestic in Civil War. Tony gets the heads up that this giant flying purple people eater named Thanos is coming and takes time to bitch at Doctor Strange about what to do with the infinity stone around his neck. Meanwhile Cap, Bucky, Falcon and friends are trying to figure out what to do with Vision's stone in his head from the fun Tony had from playing god in Age of Ultron.

This leads to all the players splitting into team…

Midway Arcade: Rampage Review

Image
Rampage is a movie. A movie based on a video game. We all know how movies based on video games go (except for Mortal Kombat and the recently released Tomb Raider). So as a movie based on a video game with no plot whatsoever, except that you are 3 creatures destroying buildings and eating people, you would expect this to be a scathing review of some Hollywood cash-in and how terrible it is.

Nope.

Well, yes it is a Hollywood cash-in. Every movie is that. But Rampage is the right amount of big and dumb and fun to warrant a watch.

The Rock is a ex-military man who became a primatologist named Davis Okoye, which I am going to assume is a shout out to former NFL great Christian Okoye otherwise known as The Nigerian Nightmare. He is best friends with gorillas especially an albino named George. One night a mystery object falls from the sky and infects George and 2 other animals in different location across the country and they start going bucknuts crazy and growing in size. Turns out an evil cor…

Cheeseburger in Paradise: Far Cry 5 Review

Image
Fun fact before the review: My uncle and aunt lived in Waco, Texas in the early 90's and my uncle knew and talked to David Koresh on many occasions. I have always had a fascination with cults and maybe this is where it spawned from. Far Cry 5 is not as political as some would want it to be. It has plenty of politics in it, don't get me wrong, but it is also not the Trump-bashing, anti-MAGA game some were expecting. This is fine. It actually has some funny things to say about both sides including one mission called "Make Hope Great Again" where you help a red state gun toter thin out the herd of cultists because he doesn't have time to redraw district lines through gerrymandering. It really is way deeper than you ever could want. (Side note: if you do not know what gerrymandering is, please look it up. It is fucking infuriating.) The reason completely bucknuts missions like that work is because it is Far Cry. We have come to expect the outlandish and even compl…