The Scruffy Nerdherder

When Frankenstein rises from the dead, there is revenge on his mind. I, Frankenstein stars Sgt. Michael Nantz from Battle: Los Angeles as the title character. He is an undead hero who is here to kick ass and say nothing about bubble gum. When a Columbian drug cartel kills his father, Frank travels to South America to avenge his loss. He gets caught up in a revolution by the citizens who want to be free of the tyrannical control of drug-raged werewolves headed by Benicio del Toro, reprising his roles from Wolf and Escobar at the same time. The movie really picks up when he joins forces with twins Percy and Mary Shelley to infiltrate the wolves’ compound. There are plenty of nods to action classics like Lionheart, Cyborg, Bloodsport, Kickboxer, Hard Target, Universal Soldier, Timecop and Double Impact. Lots of kicks to faces and groins. Things get complicated when Frank’s former bride is revealed to be a wolf in disguise. She sides with the cartel to help take down her...

Game of the Year Assassin's Creed: Origins I really thought to myself “what if Assassins Creed: Origins is my actual Game of the Year?” and that made me realize how the AC series is viewed by the gaming community. It has been so saturated with yearly releases that thinking of an AC title as GOTY year material is like saying COD deserves it or Nickelback is a good band. It is not what we are supposed to do. Yes, Ubisoft is a lot to blame for annualizing the franchise, but what are they supposed to do...not make money? The 2 year break between AC titles turned out to be just what the series needed. The world is massive and fully realized. I am not putting it on par with The Witcher 3 or GTA V, but it is just a level below and that is a big compliment. Yes, there are endless fetch quests (it is an open world game), but side missions feel like they are more than just “here waste some time”. Bayek is the best character AC has had in a long time, second only to Edward Kenway...

-I did not want a sequel to Blade Runner. Ever. It is a singular story told masterfully that holds up 35 years later. I said that first so this will resonate more: Blade Runner 2049 may be the best science fiction film of the last 20-25 years. -It feels like a natural continuation of a story that most fans wanted left alone. I consider Blade Runner’s open-ended finish one of the best in movie history. It leaves itself open to fans interpretation about what happens next. Luckily, 2049’s story feels like the most compelling extension of the original anyone could have possibly come up with. The entire movie works as a contradiction; it is fan service while staying true to itself in how much it is trying to be its own story and not fan service. -Blade Runner 2049 opens up the world to so many possibilities. If the original was the most wonderful appetizer you have ever eaten, 2049 is a five star meal that comes after when you were thinking there was nothing better. -To ...

Ok, first things first. I have watched Batman Forever multiple times since its release in 1995, but for the sake of title, I thought that sounded nice. In all honesty it has been over a decade since I sat down and watched Joel Schumacher’s first Batman film and I thought it would be fun to see how it held up after going so long between viewings. I was almost 15 when Batman Forever released on June 9, 1995, And like any 15 year old should think, I loved it when it came out. We were getting a new Batman in Val Kilmer! Jim Carrey was the big shit in Hollywood and he was going to be The Riddler! Nicole Kidman still had most of her original face and was hot! So let’s watch this thing and see what my cynical man brain sees as compared to the first time I watched it. -The opening lines of Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face give the false sense of hope that he will be really, really great at this. -I even knew at a young age that the security guard at the beginning was horrible as shit ...

-The Dark Tower is in no way a BAD movie. I have seen bad movies and this was not one of them. If you asked me to watch The Dark Tower 10 times in a row or Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen once I would watch The Dark Tower 15 times in a row just for good measure. -It did need to be longer. There are scenes early on that need to be extended. I am not saying we need an overstuffed 2.5 hour movie (looking at you Captain America: Civil War) but even making it 110 minutes would have given some much needed extension and still keep it under 2 hours. -I love Idris Elba in almost everything he does (except Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, that movie can go fuck itself) and obviously McConaughey is McConaughey. I wish this movie had a little more substance for them to latch onto. You have 2 of the greatest actors today...let them loose! McConaughey looks like he is having fun chewing scenery as The Man in Black, I want more of it. -If you are a lifelong fan and reader of The...

The new trilogy of Planet of the Apes movies are not exactly happy tales. Beginning with Rise in 2011 showing us how Caesar was created and the beginning of the simian flu which slowly begins to kill off humans. Plus, it is just rough to watch John Lithgow's character lose his faculties if you have ever had a relative go through he same thing. Then to Dawn in 2014 where Matt Reeves took over as director from Rupert Wyatt and began to flesh out the life and mythos of Caesar as the leader of the apes while trying to garner peace with humans and betrayal by Koba, leading to an army descending upon them to wipe them out. Now with War for the Planet of the Apes we have moved a few years past with Caesar doing his best to keep his apes together and stay hidden from an army of humans that see their species in its last gasps of existence. It is bleak on both fronts with few good moments, but such is the apocalypse. It shouldn't be fun. It shouldn't be cheery. It should be des...

When Earth is threatened with total destruction only Jackie from That 70’s Show can save us. Jupiter Ascending is from The Wachowskis, who you can only assume have the ability of mind control for convincing Warner to give them $175 million dollars on the idea of Channing Tatum as a space elf and Mila Kunis as queen of the universe. Jupiter is a waitress in a diner when Boromir comes along and tells her she is queen of the universe. Sean Bean dies after one sentence because it is in his contract to die in everything and why waste the time developing his character? She thinks he is a psycho until Magic Mike XXELF shows up with a laser gun and huge package then she believes everything must be true. The baddie, played by Eddie Redmayne, who took a break from acting like a cyborg genius, wants to kill Jupiter and the easiest way to do this is to destroy Earth. He has a secondary motive also. He has plans for a galactic superhighway and Earth is in the way. Don’t think about...